I had a moment of insight this morning. I have been simply smitten with this comedic character, Joanne the Scammer. I finally realize the reason I have been so caught up with “her” missions and capers and all other shenanigans-I IDENTIFY WITH HER!
As I thought back to the times and places that I was so uncomfortable in my skin and the “lives” I found myself living, I subconsciously searched for ways to assimilate to my surroundings.
Now this was probably done for many reasons and as I explore it further, I imagine it started when I was a tiny girl. After having my face and mouth slapped nearly off for looking and saying and doing things that were, at that time, quite natural for me but proven to make me a target in the family and social systems I lived in.
So being a rather clever child, I imagine I came up with ways and means of SURVIVAL by observing and mimicking the people around me that seemed to live in ways that allowed them measures of success…or simply not having their faces and mouths slapped nearly off at any given moment.
So I became caricatures (a picture, description, or imitation of a person or thing in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect) of personalities around me and I am sure as I sit here typing, my personas were as hilarious and desperate and pathetic as Ms Joanne the Scammer.
See, because I was naturally clever and creative, it was easy to construct a personality that presented as, let’s say, employable. But once I secured the desired position, I didn’t possess the skill sets needed to maintain the position or the accoutrements that came with it. I was a derelict and socially delayed being that looked professional, sane, even safe. I now understand why I could so smoothly transition with friends (victims) from the “guttermost” to the “uttermost.” (laughing in my Joanne the Scammer’s voice) ICONIC!!
Lastly, this silly little epiphany really serves to support my assertion that we must must, MUST teach our children the “processes” or skill sets needed to get from point A to point B. There are specific steps that are important parts of the many Processes of Life. How does one find his or her way from “Heartache” to “Hopeful?”
Or, who taught us how to experience crushing “Disappointment,” and then get up, extract any lessons from the situation, attach meaning and significance to the experience, and then turn those steps in practical, applicable tools to assist us as we went on until we reached “Attainment?”
And while everyone’s process can look quite different, it is so important to show them that even if we must experience utter and complete “Rejection,” and all of the exquisitely painful emotions that are attached to that trauma, there is actually a way to feel it, process it, and then apply the skills learned that will create the path to “Ratification!”
How else will they know that as one learns to fly and to be Free, one must practice so that when he/she stumbles and falls and gets up and stumbles and falls and gets up and stumbles…over and over again, if necessary, if we don’t teach them all the ways and “certain steps” one can learn to “manage” him/herself and the complicated business of “human being-ness” in this world with rules that are fluid at best and pointedly ignored, at worst–who will?
Nature abhors a vacuum. If we do not learn for ourselves so that we can teach our children, how to find our essential selves and then live closely to that Truth, well, I believe that “Joanne the Scammers” are not as far fetched or improbable as one may think. They are everywhere. Raising children, teaching in classrooms, holding pulpits and congregations hostage (I said it), entering into marriages, saying “I love you,” being voted into offices of power, treating patients, and on and on and on.
Who are you…really?
I am RubyT❤
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